77 Chinese Brothers

  1. one has an iron neck
  2. one can stretch and stretch his legs
  3. one cannot be burned
  4. one cannot squeeze his shoulder blades
  5. one can be suspended in a plasma
  6. one analyzes banking risk
  7. one frays dot-textured chiffon and pink crepe
  8. one can stop the habitual contracting of his left ventricle
  9. one considers himself a good copy
  10. one harbors hallucinatory dreams of stardom
  11. one hallucinates the night stars dream of harbors
  12. one has never made a diagnosis of brain abscess upon the blood count alone
  13. one prevents a cab driver resembling Travis Bickle from running over a cyclist
  14. one re-routes the sun into a light-resistant space
  15. one identifies cows with mountain biking
  16. one lays feebly upon a hospital bed covered in Olympic sponsor blankets
  17. one goes into the army a boy and comes out a man
  18. one goes into the army a boy and comes out a very angry boy with extensive  training in underwater demolition
  19. one supervises a team of masseuses
  20. one tattoos “The meat on the neck is tasty and easy to digest!” from this elbow to his neck
  21. one provides an important compilation of major pathogens, insects, and injuries
  22. one seeds the collective forest with ash
  23. one collects spots off the map
  24. one enters a construction site through a hole in the fence
  25. one ignores 25 years of research on non-refillable bottles
  26. one is swamped with calls calling for less graphic chewing off of the hand
  27. one waits to be expelled from troubled waters
  28. one releases a giraffe
  29. one balances six rights and five wrongs
  30. one got his thumb blown off and then sat in the bathtub all night
  31. one has a pathological fixation on the World Bank
  32. one designs the first zip-down bicycle
  33. one is characteristic of an era
  34. one attempts to hold up his pants with his feet
  35. one observes burrowing in a coastal grassland
  36. one stabs a 14-year-old police informant with a pair of scissors
  37. one rubs the backs off puppies
  38. one said the fireballs moved from north to south, made no noise and were Russian
  39. one suggests evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye
  40. one seems to be an effective contributor to organizational goal accomplishment
  41. one stayed alone in a hole for several years until discovered
  42. one sat down on curb with American flag
  43. one deposits residue in a cup
  44. one skims through a color atlas of anatomy
  45. one may be rented for private event
  46. one could not be used again
  47. one votes in his own self-interests
  48. one is connected to two robberies in Connecticut
  49. one is asked to say some words concerning France
  50. one is afflicted with goose-neck barnacles
  51. one throws striped broadcloth pajamas at his nurse
  52. one appears between the junction of the Spokane and the Little Spokane Rivers
  53. one watches a wall being blessed
  54. one chooses the right wallpaper and gets it installed neatly and quickly
  55. one checks for an unseen wind coming in around a window or a hidden vent
  56. one keeps his friends at the end of the knife
  57. one forget what is to be comfortable
  58. one compares prices of noise-cancelling headphones
  59. one is willing to do anything to get to the top, including trading on illegal inside information
  60. one rules over a world of kites with single-point bridles
  61. one mixes everything in one tank and it all comes out the same
  62. one is very nice when answering questions and explaining coupons
  63. one takes shorter showers and adopts Meatless Mondays
  64. one suspects asparagus contains a substance called “cell growth normalizer”
  65. one never thought to put it in
  66. one walks to his co-workers desk rather than IM, phone or email
  67. one is a 165-pound adult eating one serving of canned green beans
  68. one weighs less than a can of tuna
  69. one looks forward to getting periodically repaired
  70. one clouds the issue with other issues
  71. one keeps a silver lining in a safe deposit box
  72. one fosters rescue animals
  73. one is sold in the freezer aisles
  74. one collects work gloves, goggles, hedge clippers, tree saws, ladders and trash cans
  75. one noticed the termite mounds first
  76. one is an only child
  77. one ends
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