Wrap Yourself in the Blanket of Mass Appeal

Wrap Yourself in the Blanket of Mass Appeal
in Awesome Errors With Glitch Blankets mass-produced on an individual level.
And you know how to do this – you wear clothes and wrap yourself in blankets!

(I know this won’t appeal to the “deny at all cost” group, so let’s just get over mass extinctions and the coming end of human remains.)

Fellow Smart Masses Also Bought machine-washable songs
with sure-have mass appeal that wraps around the listener
so that when you wrap yourself in your blanket you will experience
democratic representation, constitutional checks and balances, rights of appeal, etc.

It’s easy to fathom the broad capacity to feel like oneself.
In a similar fashion, a mass movement’s
practical gifts may lack a certain charm, but what could be better
than clothing, boots, a blanket and the numbers of roadside assistance.

In the earliest days,
the most efficient way to deliver a message was to blanket the largest mass
with feelings of inadequacy
until they became incorporated into the
Christmas present you give to yourself,
the physical laws you are appealing to,
or something you continually fail to do.

But over time, we’ve learned that
Dancing isn’t just wrapping yourself in a fuzzy blanket
of people moving in a similar manner as yourself,
glad-handing you, always telling you, “You’re brilliant!
Now please help us recruit more nerdy masses
of software engineers yearning to breathe free!”
Dancing might include somebody’s concept of authenticity wrapped
in itchy thrift-store horse blankets thinking that the only “pure form” of
discomfort is honest increase of muscle mass by 15%
or careful eating away at consciences stowed farther and farther away by their owner
leaving Dogville clad in the daintiest, whitest Bertolt Brecht mass panic
or the spread of a sensational half-truth in every Leg Wrap sold.

We wanted a cake that would appeal to the masses, not just to those
wrapped with pigs in a homemade blanket,
which means layering, Layering and MORE LAYERING
around Professional crisis actors simulating mass casualty events
overnight while they wait HOURS for Trooper Russ Winger
keeping warm with a very noisy Superman
– but so soft you’d swear he was Angora (and without the shedding!) –
who will engage in cooking, using the channels of government,
drinking heat and vomiting cold onto priceless 6th-century druid whiskers.

In the dark
is not much different from
that somewhere else
where we were offered gift wrapping services
of unique/handmade/high-quality things –
especially items that appeal to
the terry-clothed masses in New York,
a USO girl entertaining the sexually hidden troops
or the College of Cardinals cozying up with a vodka tonic,
wrapping each other up in a warm
lemon-ginger foot soak and dipping their
hands in paraffin before
breaking down the non-personalized mass appeal message into
more individualized discussions about The Campaign known as
“Mass therapeutic wrap yourself in a blanket made from good blanket statements”
(which insiders simply call “Mass”)

While everyone’s looking
to build muscle
and eliminate fat from
head injuries,
we need to challenge the great masses
of the plains people
with lovers of retro games and
not much else.

Now go
reflect my true nature
as a tube of bacon
poking through
a glowing
electric blanket
or stepping into an emergency shower.


Title taken from Groupon email subject line, which sounded a little…um…what’s the word…

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