There Is No Explanation For Our Puss (A Contemporary Sonnet)

There is no explanation for our puss,
Not on the Mayo site or WebMD,
That would make sense for either one of us,
an explanation received comfortably,

For surely neither one of us has strayed
Afar from vows that bind us until death,
Apart from that one time I blithely played
The lover to my secretary Beth.

I know that I’ve been faithful ever since,
So tell me Alice what to make of this
Have you fair maiden found another prince?
Is this the reason why it hurts to piss?

I know the answer darling – don’t look shocked.
Oh Alice, you should keep your cellphone locked.

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