The Third Oldest Story in the Book

It’s the third oldest story in the book. The Boy has a giant head (4’3” circumference). His 3rd grade classmates with normal-sized heads mercilessly taunt him. There’s an incurable plague spreading across the land. One day, at recess, The Boy trips over some branches, bangs his head open, and a substance resembling orange pulp comes oozing out of the back of his giant head.  A victim of the plague, identifiable by the green and black spotting, comes out of the woods. Jen, a spoiled rich girl who’s always offering classmates $5 to eat disgusting things, points to the orange goop pooling around the The Boy’s head and says to the plague victim, “I’ll give you $5 if you eat that.” The plague victim eats the orange substance and in less than a minute is immediately cured. The Boy becomes a hero after the orange goop inside of his giant head is synthesized into an vaccine. The Boy becomes fabulously wealthy thanks to an uncle who is a patent attorney rockstar.  At age 17 he crashes his car while driving home drunk from a party, killing himself and 3 schoolmates, one of whom is Jen, who is now his girlfriend, though still a total bitch.

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