Acrobats of the Colon

“The kidneys, liver, spleen, stomach, pancreas,
large and small intestine can each
dislocate without injury –
as is well illustrated in the feats of acrobats.”

– Mao Tse-Tong

A Brief Note from the Director of the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts

We hope you enjoy every bit of the
Extreme Ass Acrobats and Colon Licking Legends Orchestra
of the People’s Republic of China
and their virtuoso extreme ass acrobatics and colon licking.

Tonight, the Legends Orchestra will be colon licking
the transverse part of the colon which is usually
attached to the stomach at the point where we typically
find acrobats and fancy dancers
who later turn into extreme anus acrobats and colon licking athletes.

By way of an introduction to the apparent over-exertion of athletes,
acrobats and contortionists, the colon is commonly
disregarded in the consideration of the matter;
however, the marvelous grace, strength and agility of
their trapezees (i.e. where the ends of the fingers go)
descending from the splenic flexure of the colon down
the transverse ly — n transver ston — transverse colon (anatom)
brings us to the part of the drums of the marching bands where
the acrobats of the Colon shoots must be considered in full
to be paramount.

Now onto the performance!

Movement I

The semi-colon is used to join together

You can almost hear the clock ticking
owing to the amiability of an acrobat
up the colon

thrust into the bowels as far as the axilla

who gave up drinking and smoking
but all while still has a good Reason to Party

Movement II

Add colons where they are needed in the following sentences.
Example: Hi everyone, well I’m headed to the colon

turning left/right/using a stool, squating

I asked him, well, why can’t I push the bm out without using acrobats?
and he said it is because of my colonic inertia. Has anyone else had this
series of messages or random acrobats showing up to perform stunts
in their colon and then take those “look at my strong arm” photos?

sometimes you wake up
and the day feels a little too
“colon blossom in a nasty prolapse good to be true”
good to be true


Movement III

Part 1. Acrobatics of Electrical Appliances

The Lady is to be
Lovely detailed frogs
Perfect for your home or
circus performance
Custom Zippered pillowcase
Highly Electrical Appliances
accompanied by
Approved acrobatic maneuvers
Sampling strange noises and making a
Gymnastics Mat out of them is nothing new
to the left field producers and fans of
6 Equipment; 7 Popular culture; 8 Military training;
9 Derivative terminologies
and resistant Red Arrows Between A-list off-destinations
and early childhood /educational > Party /magic > Magic
Teaching < acrobatic equipment

Part 2. Your Colon Chooses You (Like Cats)

You can find whatever
Czech juggling stick
you want
as long as it’s a Czech juggling stick
you can trust
or a
magic Qigong props iron machine
unless related to an appliance repair,
tropical bird therapy, colon hair
& Supplies for cleaning
Cheerleaders’ Super Mini Stunts
(How they dance the mohawk home!)
I wish you could see them
in the middle of completing a
(i.e. An intentional maneuver involving an abrupt change in a coin-operated

Part 3. Find Jobs

on Furniture
on home soil

Part 4. Enemies of the Colonoscopy of the State

acrobats of the colon
be forewarned
we will be watching out for anything too
such as Balloons, cameras, jewelry and watches, knives, electrical appliances,
educated canines,
microwave ovens

Part 5. Can I spend my days dunking with Junior?

you CAN spend your days dunking with Junior.
You already know the Longest Flip Dunk-Over Appliances
The clear message in that
atmospheric music
interspersed with
Soft-Radio Controlled-Dancing
Car Dance dance grooves & moves
including leads that are tested, tagged and
down with The Acrobatic Gerbil look
that usually travels from town to
freezer and then remains stored for long periods of time
in a vacuum cleaner
you will find
a specialist provider of consumer focused
aquatic Handstand Bowls
Apollo Diagonal Cereals ·
choreographing washing machines
thinking of customers’ needs beyond
dancers in a new show
outside the boat
or not attached to any
theatrical purpose or activity
for safety reasons
from the least expensive to most popular

Part 6. Pet Dance Course in Juggling

4 Channels in
a 6 Axis Gyroscope

for Arial

that never exceed the speed of 250 knots
and the factors used for part 23


Special After the Performance Q&A

Audience members are invited after the show to come up to the stage
for an informal and informational Q&A with members of the Extreme Ass Acrobats and Colon Licking Legends Orchestra of the People’s Republic of China.

Bring your questions and your colons!

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