FAQs: Lead-Shed Weight-Loss Fashions

What are Lead-Shed Weight-Loss Fashions?

Lead-Shed Weight-Loss Fashions are the #1 way to lose weight without dieting, exercising or dangerous pills, gels or solutions .

How is it possible to lose weight without dieting, exercising or dangerous pills, gels or solutions?

Every day, your body burns calories in ways you probably weren’t even aware of. Each time you get up from a chair, walk to your car, walk to the printer – you are burning calories! And these calories add up!

The genius behind Lead-Shed Weight-Loss Fashions is a simple formula:

force TIMES distance EQUALS normal calories MINUS work EQUALS weight loss PLUS added strength

Can you explain that without the math?


Imagine you get up from your kitchen table to walk to get a cup of coffee. Good for you! You’ve just burned calories!

Now, imagine doing the same thing, only this time you are carrying a backpack filled with 100 lbs. of sharp rocks. Good for you! You’ve just burned more calories carrying those 100 lbs. of sharp rocks than you would have without them – all while doing the same mundane act!

Weighing myself down with a backpack full of sharp rocks to reach my weight-loss goal sounds painful. Is there another way?

Yes there is! There’s the Lead-Shed Way!

Let’s go back to your kitchen for some more coffee – you certainly like coffee don’t you?

We’ve replaced that uncomfortable backpack filled with 100 lbs. of sharp rocks with that same 100 lbs. of weight, but, this time, we’ve distributed it evenly across your entire skin surface, allowing you to do the same amount of work you would do wearing the equivalent of 100 lbs. of sharp rocks – but you’re completely comfortable!

So Lead-Shed is like a second skin that is very heavy?

No! Lead-Shed IS a second skin that is very heavy – and very comfortable!

How can a 100-pound layer of lead worn like a second skin be so comfortable?

The answer? Lead-Shed’s Ultra-Weave Nano-Tech Technology combined with the natural density of lead combined with a proprietary super-heavy super-substance we call Element PS-HS-S.

The result? A comfortable, breathable second skin that forces your body to DO MORE while you’re doing the same things as before!

The result of the result? You DO MORE and LOSE MORE while not having to DO MORE!

Imagine doing the same old same old and getting a new you! That’s the Lead-Shed way!

Will I become lopsided or will some muscle groups develop unevenly?

No worries there. Lead-Shed is distributed 100% evenly across 100% of your surface area using a 100% Total Tone Philosophy. If you’re naturally – or unnaturally – lopsided or have overdeveloped muscle groups, bulges, “spare tires”, or “junk in the trunk”, we guarantee you that Lead-Shed, if worn over a sufficient amount of time, will NOT add to your lopsided or unevenness, but may even make it go away.

However, if you need immediate, “like yesterday” results, we have another product called “Sir Compress-a-Lot” which is aimed at compression. Though it’s still in beta-testing as we work out some minor kinks related to numbness and fainting due to severe restriction of blood flow, you may qualify as a beta-tester once you’ve completed the application and signed the necessary medical waivers.

What types of weights are available?

Our Lead-Shed line comes in a wide variety of styles, models and increments – from our super-light 16 lb. “Svelte Sixteen” model to our best-selling men’s “So This is Forty” 40-pounder all the way up to the 500 lb. Biggest Loser model (please note, the Biggest Loser model is in no way associated with the television program of the same name that uses outdated methods of diet and exercise to achieve weight loss results).

Can I choose from a wide variety of exciting, stylish colors?

Absolutely! You can have any color Lead-Shed as long as it’s black.

Can I wear Lead-Shed while “making the two backed beast”, during “that sweaty business” or when “doing the nasty?”

Yes. Lead-Shed comes with proprietary “Go Time” Flaps so you can easily engage in coitus when the mood and/or level of alcohol in your system and/or level of ED medication in your system is right. And before you even ask…

…what’s also great is that these “Go Time” Flaps work the same way if you “need to see a man about a horse” or it’s “log time.”

Will I be protected from radiation while wearing Lead-Shed?

Lead-Shed makes no specific claims regarding protection from radiation. However, in the sense that after wearing Lead-Shed you will be more fit and healthy and therefore less likely to need a trip to the emergency room where x-rays may be performed as part of routine diagnostic procedures, the answer is – absolutely yes!

So I can continue eating my high-fat, high-sugar diet combined with an activity level generously described as “sloth-like” AND lose weight?

Yes! You lose weight not my asking yourself “Am I losing weight”, but by turning the questions on it’s head: “Have I put on enough weight?” – literally?

What if I wanted to keep pathetically inactive and actually increase the amount of food I’m eating – for example, eat a dozen donuts for breakfast, an entire pizza for lunch, and have a dinner of 3 Big Macs and 3 large fries? Would Lead-Shed let me do that and keep my present weight?

The only limit is the limit you put on yourself, Grasshopper!

Will insurance pay for Lead-Shed?

That’s the great news! Insurance carriers are always looking for ways to make their insured healthier and fitter and since it is the stated goal of Lead-Shed to make you more healthy and fit, there seems to be no reason why they wouldn’t pay for it!

And before you ask another question – I have one for you. How many calories would you have burned reading this if you were wearing Lead-Shed?

Every minute you are not wearing Lead-Shed, you are failing to burn calories. So why wait?


FAQs for Crano-Shock

What is Crano-ShockTM?

Crano-ShockTM is the only over the counter medication which claims to function like a shock absorber for the brain.

How does Crano-ShockTM work?

Crano-ShockTM‘s patent pending formula builds a springy wall of fresh neural tissue between the frontal cortex and the inner cranial wall that acts as a soft, force-absorbing cushion during high-impact hits.

Hold on, I’m not a brain-surgeon. Words like “neural tissue,” “cortex” and “cranial” scare and confuse me. Can you please explain in a way I can understand?


Imagine what happens to an egg dropped from height of 3 feet onto a concrete floor. If you imagined “Splat!,” you’re right.

Now take that same egg, but, just before releasing it, slide in a 2 1/2-foot high pillow underneath it? What happens now? No splat, just safe.

But my brain is already in my head and the likelihood that it would be taken out and dropped dropped from a 3 foot height is remote. Can you give a better example?

No problem.

Imagine an egg in a 1/2 gallon cooking pot filled with water. The egg is sloshing around. Accelerate that cooking pot into a brick wall so that the crash impact is approximately 40 mph. What’s left after impact? If you said a “yucky broken egg stuff floating in water”, you’re right.

Now imagine an egg in that same water-filled pot BUT with a soft pillow INSIDE the pot surrounding the egg. What’s left after impact? If you said “a nice egg,” “an egg fit for the King of England himself” or any phrase that suggests the egg remains unbroken and intact – then you’re right!

Is Crano-ShockTM dangerous?

Just the opposite. Head injuries are dangerous. Football is dangerous. Crano-ShockTM is about taking the danger out of impact trauma to the brain so you the user can engage in more and more violent impact trauma to the brain.

Wait…um…going back a couple questions up…What happens to the rest of my brain? Like, does my brain shrink?

That depends on your definition of the word “shrink”. Without going into complicated jargon about brain physiology and physics involving the conservation and displacement of matter, etc., etc., etc. we’re confident that when you start using Crano-ShockTM, your brain will have the same number of neurons and other “brain stuff” as it did right before using. So in that sense, is it “shrinking” your brain? Not at all.

Then what’s it doing?

What Crano-ShockTM does is help you make better use of available inner cranial space by displacing the wasted space between bits of “brain stuff” and condensing the “brain stuff” into an optimized space roughly the size of a walnut. The result? Crano-ShockTM not only gives you a safer brain, but gives you a better brain by making your brain even more efficient on a square-centimeter basis.

Can I receive a full refund if not satisfied?

Yes. If after using Crano-ShockTM you can understand the terms of refund, you are entitled to a full refund of the unused portion of your order.