The Continuing Adventures of Detective Frank Green

In some cases
indeed, death does come
like a thief in the night,

wearing latex gloves
and a mask,
careful of what it touches.

I’m Detective Frank Green.
I used to work Vice.
Now I work Homicide.
I make my living
bringing killers and murderers to justice
then watching justice smack them silly
with a big old justice silly stick.
​ ​
Homicides by nurses in a hospital setting
have tripled over the last 40 years.
Now, I don’t mean to scare you away from
receiving proper medical attention,
which may include admittance to a hospital bed
for an overnight stay
or a stay of a much longer duration.
​Those are just the facts.

But it’s just one more reason to get yourself
or your loved ones
off the cancer sticks.

Because if you smoke,
you will eventually land in a hospital bed
and you will have an open IV crying out
“please fill me with potassium cyanide”
in a language understood by only sociopathic nurses
or nurse practitioners
or sociopaths pretending to be nurses
or nurse practitioners.

The Continuing Adventures of Detective Frank Green

One doesn’t press the grapes for
evidence of the wine,
especially when the grapes are
clearly tagged as evidence themselves.

I’m Detective Frank Green.
I used to work Vice.
Now I work Homicide.

And nothing pisses me off more
than when some gung-ho s*&t for brains
improperly handles a key piece of evidence
allowing a cold-blooded killer to walk free,
putting him back to the streets where he can –

You hear that Perkins?

The Continuing Adventures of Detective Frank Green

What are a young hare, a young falcon, and a young owl called?

If they have paid or agreed to pay money
in exchange for the performance of sexual acts
they are called guilty of Solicitation.

I’m Detective Frank Green.
I work Vice.
The night shift.
I bust hookers, their pimps and their johns.
It’s a living.

I know there’s peer pressure to begin engaging in
sexual activity and that pressure can only get worse
when you are a virgin and are about to graduate from
college, but the law is the law, and if I catch you –
I’m gonna bust you.

And besides, you don’t want to
go through life knowing that
your first time
you had to pay for it.