Sing As If Your Song Wants to Be Dressed in Nursing Shoes

sing, because the ground is rarely
completely flat

sing, because the air is rarely
completely a solid

sing, because the mountains rarely
reach completely to the heavens

sing, because the sea is rarely
composed completely of UFOs

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, because the song has been written

sing, because the breath is there

sing, because the band is playing

sing, because you are on stage
and you are the lead singer
and they’re already at the first chorus
and all you’ve done is wave at the dolphins
smiling at you from the first row

sing, because it’s the Grammy’s
and this was supposed to be the big comeback

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, filled with silent disaster
sing where somewhere in between
could fall

sing, for you are finally
asleep
sing like a wrecking ball

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, for it is not too late
to become a doctor

     *     *     *     *     *

sing mentally (meaning inside of the head,
not outside)

sing about things you once thought
would be eternally gold and glossy
which now appear to be growing hair

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, those on whose wings
heavy aviation comes

sing, because the morning is here

sing, because they’ve finally removed the boxing gloves
from your fists

     *     *     *     *     *

sing at the guy who told you
"You’ll never sing at me!"

sing to him:
Hey, I’m singing right at you!
So who is the stupid one now!?

     *     *     *     *     *

sing into the sofa cushions accumulating
loose change in your mouth

     *     *     *     *     *

sing as you are pulling meat out of
your teeth

sing as you are pulling teeth out of
your meat

sing as you are pulling teeth out of
your head

sing as you are pulling meat out of
your head

sing as you are pulling your head out of
your head

     *     *     *     *     *

sing because your surfer-girl hair
is wavy, windblown and way cool

sing because you just read about
these bio-identical pellet implant things
that do these things to you – really good things

     *     *     *     *     *

sing as if singing were a nasty disease
you need to get rid of

sing as if you considered singing
to be a very powerful drug
and do not stop singing
until you overdose

     *     *     *     *     *

sing all the old songs about there being
another North Carolina
underneath of North Carolina
where everyone is incontinent

sing all the old classics about
Rudy the zombie elf
who shits zombie elf shit
in everyone’s shoes
while they are sleeping
or making love

sing all known sea shanties!

     *     *     *     *     *

sing! (meaning "more!")

     *     *     *     *     *

sing as cardinals in the nest of
the first altogether abandoned pontificate

     *     *     *     *     *

sing out a statistical call-to-arms

sing, the way fear attaches itself to the magnificently frantic

sing about how some languages seem to
be Spanish

     *     *     *     *     *

sing:
is it the bump that turns the road
into uneven lines
on a poor day
on a poor road
even the good road liquifies

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, eligible respondents

sing predominantly in
one or two syllable shared implies

sing, in some instances,
calling for an offering

sing a taped version
of the electronic sounds

sing in whatever majesty ye shall be shewn in

     *     *     *     *     *

sing enough to have families

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, usual indicative presence
sing, subject of a subordinated clause
sing of 22 rates of cleft palate and fetal resorbtion in mice
sing of low-level, whole-body burnt vibrations
sing a sweet and pleasing fragrance

     *     *     *     *     *

sing:

no, it is not a shoestring
it’s a knot fallen apart
how can we get the knot back
and place it in your heart
(preferably in the left anterior descending artery
forming a 100% blockage of the LAD –
a type of myocardial infarction
generally known as "the widowmaker")

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, adoptable showcases
sing all which is that integral part of renal wastage throughout the world
sing vowels and consonants unlikely to be of use
sing, because rumor has it there is a “lightning rod” for those boys who do not sing

sing like skin that is in turn test skin
persistently present in the
classic rash pattern around a parabolic blind

sing, because there is no possible way to turn
90 degrees on a psychic compass
into physical soldiers

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, at ease
sing, at attention
sing in all the other states
Sgt. Brown forgot to mention

     *     *     *     *     *

sing a description of the song you are singing
being sure to use as many concrete nouns
as you can

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, for you are the signature being
of the sing ceremony

sing, co-presented by a new light
running in all directions at once

sing, for you love to read
and can fall asleep at any time of day

     *     *     *     *     *

sing the last equally true verse
accompanied by a xylophone
and a light blu gel

     *     *     *     *     *

sing, if you are not able to talk about it

sing, if it helps to stop
the talking about it

sing, if it helps to stop
the singing

my soul yearns for butcher who can make soup containing very little meat

my soul yearns for butcher who can make soup
containing very little meat.
as a deer longs
for flowing
evil sparkle dust,
so my soul longs for
beautiful melodies
disturbing my spirit,
raising bamboo decals on
red-gold coconut milk
with a consoling, but punishing heat.

*     *     *     *     *

I am widening my table
to be as wide as the room.

I am raising my table
to be as high as the ceiling.

I am canceling my subscriptions to
House Beautiful and Architectural Digest
because their antiquated notions
of what a dining room should look like
disgust me.

*     *     *     *     *

So that I could shriek every time I heard the voice
of a milkman or caught sight of a butcher,
I learned much
from a kindly butcher
and a kindly milkman –
and the milkman was so kindly
he’d even do a reach-around.

*     *     *     *     *

My soul thirsts for romance with
non-meat Chicken Soup.

My flesh longs for
“nicey-nice,” “positive”
stew cuts.

This is part of why I am
on Effexor.

*     *     *     *     *

Here’s something The Iron Chef
will not tell you:

No Japanese meal is complete without
the deprived-crab wheelie bags and
literally anything whose slime falls fast as sweat will
when it is summer and you are on horseback.

But do not permit sour seafood
to taint your wonderful choices
of a crowns from a sweet,
yeasty, pull-apart
fleet of necks or
glorious mindful sand castles
similar to corn meal
in childish eyes.

*     *     *     *     *

my fine beach
is on fire –
even in Paradise.

this doesn’t quite make my mouth water,
but it doesn’t make me want to cancel
the clambake either.

but that’s me!
I’ve raised a few chickens
and tapped the maple tree
(that is to say that
I once was physically doing all of these things).

*     *     *     *     *

standing in an oven to
get a first-hand look, are you,
Food Informant?

you can find everything in
Prevention but
the handle
can’t you?

you, bald-headed inside of two
de-boned Holy Arks!
on account of your degrading yourself,
my sense is
thick and creamy (not to mention on
sabbatical).

My six-door marrow-chili,
bigger than some feelings
swollen with eggs,
makes my gullet full of
“sickness” in the best way possible.

My back is
“seedless.”

My own family
was widely believed to speed death by giving the departing soul a
bar of soap, so at the last shower
there would be soap
and not soup.

But that’s OK.
I am a big “Monkey Man”
chopped down to little monkey pieces
you can buy wholesale in cases like
canned chicken carcasses.

*     *     *     *     *

Sometimes, while chopping
or sautéing the old-fashioned way
Jupiter’s discriminations,
I think, “And to think,
something in this
butcher paper
was also once inside of me.”

*     *     *     *     *

Man breathing,
my back
pickled tongue!

My soul
is endlessly lapping at an unpeeled onion!

My stomach
is pretty great too!

*     *     *     *     *

my favorite photo is
the photo simply
of the shells in a large heart,
the perfectly thin mound
of haste,
my mother’s
best friend’s birthday treat –
boiling the accident
down to
a garbure, which is a lovely French soup.

*     *     *     *     *

Who would destroy
AmazingRibs.com?

Who would encrust
the classic conflict of flesh vs. soul,
and townfolk vs. Little grublings who need no soup?

Be careful that your skin is not
too hot, as this will cause the
Baal in silence to dine on vulture-soup
and inadvertently
grow larger than your logic,
grander than Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies,
1000% more potent than
100% biblically-true strength of
hot bean soup
which resides in one’s muscles
not very long.

*     *     *     *     *

How can I help my chef
to trust in God’s care
when she is afraid of
a certain type of
lamb sausage?

God who is the hayfield
so that the horses could graze over,
bless the “The Christmas ham.”
Bless the hay
paired with fennel.
Bless a weathered soul with cowboy ghost features.
Bless food fears
and food
and pet a pig
and enjoy the pre-semen malt.

*     *     *     *     *

Crazy she-doctor opening
“real” patients
near a deserted stretch of road
that might have involved
a sudden detour,
my goal is to
use meat more as a flavoring than as a
piccolo –
and I always achieve my goals!

*     *     *     *     *

Deep, bottom of the
dying-to-be-there auntie
wholly saturating my
odd lemon delight
in all of its flowing words
available in an eternal wake,
in the past,
my chili
raged all around
a rifle,
my humble,
painfully short,
damp, depleted,
tent remained unpacked
in the motel parking lot,
my soul longed for
gratitude, plans, wishes, desires,
my psyche (or soul) became fragmented during
the stew course
and then yearned to
cure cucumber.

Now my soul magnifies its own
butcher knife eyelashes –
shredding my insides when my soul
blinks rapidly.

*     *     *     *     *

Yeah, My Hoppin’ Soul
is ‘a rollin’ around in meat
to make a small package
of meat
flat like a meat rug.

*     *     *     *     *

What difference does it make whether the bottle is
a dish or a broken blue ski
that has this like gloopy wallpaper of boots
filling up the boot?

I know I will eventually
get the soup into my mouth.

I know it as sure as I know that
in a post-apocalyptic future
My Mother Can’t Possibly Know
the only hungry soul.

my gentle, loving and utterly older Edible Cap

it’s always been understood:

cakes and breads
add charm to
kittens & kin
on the loose

Certain genetic diseases make the victim more in a hurry. Sort of …

Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears
are the species most commonly farmed
in other areas of the
‘Little Tummy’

(ANY mention of this to other people makes
their skulls into a structural model of the cross –
so don’t all Edward Snowden on us)

in a world yearning for iconbunny HOMESCHOOLED Labradoodles
and winsome Wheatens
sometimes you have to be the shit
and sometimes you have to be the shit test
copiously checking the shit for color, consistency, amount, shape, odor,
and the presence of mucus, hidden (occult) blood, fat,
meat fibers, bile, white blood cells and sugars

but
is this
the face
so eager to
fill that strangely
absent much older
group of flawed but marvelous
creatures that came before humans?

Another question:

Good Lord Where Can I Hide?

Surely not inside
Pixar’s great mascot, Luxo Jr.,
or the Iron Giant?

Acrobats of the Colon

“The kidneys, liver, spleen, stomach, pancreas,
large and small intestine can each
dislocate without injury –
as is well illustrated in the feats of acrobats.”

– Mao Tse-Tong

A Brief Note from the Director of the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts

We hope you enjoy every bit of the
Extreme Ass Acrobats and Colon Licking Legends Orchestra
of the People’s Republic of China
and their virtuoso extreme ass acrobatics and colon licking.

Tonight, the Legends Orchestra will be colon licking
the transverse part of the colon which is usually
attached to the stomach at the point where we typically
find acrobats and fancy dancers
who later turn into extreme anus acrobats and colon licking athletes.

By way of an introduction to the apparent over-exertion of athletes,
acrobats and contortionists, the colon is commonly
disregarded in the consideration of the matter;
however, the marvelous grace, strength and agility of
their trapezees (i.e. where the ends of the fingers go)
descending from the splenic flexure of the colon down
the transverse ly — n transver ston — transverse colon (anatom)
brings us to the part of the drums of the marching bands where
the acrobats of the Colon shoots must be considered in full
to be paramount.

Now onto the performance!

Movement I

The semi-colon is used to join together
colons.

You can almost hear the clock ticking
owing to the amiability of an acrobat
up the colon

thrust into the bowels as far as the axilla

who gave up drinking and smoking
but all while still has a good Reason to Party

Movement II

Add colons where they are needed in the following sentences.
Example: Hi everyone, well I’m headed to the colon

turning left/right/using a stool, squating

I asked him, well, why can’t I push the bm out without using acrobats?
and he said it is because of my colonic inertia. Has anyone else had this
series of messages or random acrobats showing up to perform stunts
in their colon and then take those “look at my strong arm” photos?

sometimes you wake up
and the day feels a little too
“colon blossom in a nasty prolapse good to be true”
good to be true

[INTERMISSION]

Movement III

Part 1. Acrobatics of Electrical Appliances

The Lady is to be
Lovely detailed frogs
Perfect for your home or
circus performance
including:
Custom Zippered pillowcase
Highly Electrical Appliances
accompanied by
Approved acrobatic maneuvers
Sampling strange noises and making a
Gymnastics Mat out of them is nothing new
to the left field producers and fans of
6 Equipment; 7 Popular culture; 8 Military training;
9 Derivative terminologies
and resistant Red Arrows Between A-list off-destinations
and early childhood /educational > Party /magic > Magic
Teaching < acrobatic equipment

Part 2. Your Colon Chooses You (Like Cats)

You can find whatever
Czech juggling stick
you want
as long as it’s a Czech juggling stick
you can trust
or a
magic Qigong props iron machine
unless related to an appliance repair,
tropical bird therapy, colon hair
& Supplies for cleaning
Cheerleaders’ Super Mini Stunts
(How they dance the mohawk home!)
I wish you could see them
in the middle of completing a
roof
(i.e. An intentional maneuver involving an abrupt change in a coin-operated
contract)

Part 3. Find Jobs

on Furniture
on home soil

Part 4. Enemies of the Colonoscopy of the State

acrobats of the colon
be forewarned
we will be watching out for anything too
Candy-Filled
such as Balloons, cameras, jewelry and watches, knives, electrical appliances,
educated canines,
microwave ovens

Part 5. Can I spend my days dunking with Junior?

you CAN spend your days dunking with Junior.
You already know the Longest Flip Dunk-Over Appliances
The clear message in that
atmospheric music
interspersed with
Soft-Radio Controlled-Dancing
Car Dance dance grooves & moves
including leads that are tested, tagged and
down with The Acrobatic Gerbil look
that usually travels from town to
freezer and then remains stored for long periods of time
in a vacuum cleaner
you will find
a specialist provider of consumer focused
aquatic Handstand Bowls
Apollo Diagonal Cereals ·
choreographing washing machines
thinking of customers’ needs beyond
dancers in a new show
outside the boat
or not attached to any
theatrical purpose or activity
for safety reasons
from the least expensive to most popular

Part 6. Pet Dance Course in Juggling

4 Channels in
a 6 Axis Gyroscope

for Arial

BELLY DANCERS
that never exceed the speed of 250 knots
and the factors used for part 23

END OF PERFORMANCE

Special After the Performance Q&A

Audience members are invited after the show to come up to the stage
for an informal and informational Q&A with members of the Extreme Ass Acrobats and Colon Licking Legends Orchestra of the People’s Republic of China.

Bring your questions and your colons!

the same sonnet

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You See Me as Hot Dogs You’ve Never Thought to Make Before Now

You see me as
both messy and dangerous,
a pet cemetery,
various outdoor lounge spaces,
hot dogs you’ve never thought to make before now,

coming down from the sky in footsteps,
sick from eating the wrong sort of
rhapsodic wax,
sick from turning out burgers stuffed into bedding.

You think I was once
a superb Juggler of Worlds
when, in fact,
I was simply a
fire performer and juggler
with a background in gymnastics.

You imagine my past includes
its share of glittering jewel-like dog-women
small two-story doors,
non-traditional eyelids,
working, resting, and juicing vegetables,
hand-feeding a starving gator a grilled cheese sandwich,
calling for bold action on
kombucha-infused Sriracha empanadas.

I could admit to only this
I am an avid hunter and erotic sensual SWIMMER with
a selection of newly sourced Gothic victorian macabre
pigeon-Fabulous!! Absolutely stunning peacock skulls and oddities.

But I will go further and tell you ALL my secrets, little bird:
when it’s time to get down to business
the wood is either too dry or too wet,
the hot dog is either too mushy or too smokey,
I’ve either fallen and I can’t get up
or fallen and don’t want to get up.

This is the full extent of all my secrets.

But now that you know all of my secrets,
it is incumbent upon you
to accurately discern the true state of all possible conditions
and their remedies —
for this is what The One True Perfect Love is
or so I’ve read
or seen on television
either on "Frontline"
or "Supernatural."

to you I extend my Sun

to you I extend my Sun,
my quite difficult to look after Hester Prynne
begging and crawling,
all things that are going to end
up on the trees acquired,
a sincere shout out to all the amazing librarians out there
lost in the stacks,
16 monster athletes
generally speaking
(the men, the hardware, the women)
whose performance is impeded by the sense that they are
all a dream,
the muscles that produce motion
and the motion itself,
a down and dirty approximation of
your meth face,
my ladybug, oh ladybug
where is it that you’re cut?
let me put a bandage on
will that keep your mouth shut
,
intrusive or painful images
of patients still intact but
less intact than intended,
the lesser extent
of pain and its implications,
the caterpillar that created the caterpillar
in coarse velvet,
our theoretical sisterness with
the First Lady of the deer family,

(we can assume the rest)

to you I would also extend your mother
but I’ve never even met your mother

Landlord to the Home of Real Southern Cooking

Let’s talk about the holes in the wall that you haven’t patched,
the malnourished, premature, neglected men from the church
stealing leftovers from my kitchen
then dying in droves in the basement.

Grasp the pole and remove the rat?
You grasp the pole and remove the rat!

Have you heard the new 50 Cent song that goes:
“There’s a king and queen with rubber in a room / where the freaks all come around.”
Well, guess what?
50 Cent is talking about my living room.

The tenancy agreement says “just do what comes natural.”
What comes natural to me is not going into the bathroom
and having men dressing a freshly-killed buffalo tell me,
“We’ll be out in a minute.”

What comes natural to me is not having strangers
mistake my television for a hand-towel dispenser
and constantly haranguing me with
“You’re out of towels again.”

What comes natural to me is not
being interrupted every time I take a shower
by people pulling the curtain open and asking,
“Is this the arena for the aqua-fighting?”

When you get into your bed at night
and are on the cusp of falling asleep,
do you have an old crone slide out from underneath
the boxsprings chanting:
when the dark
the dead
and the ravens
have their winter feast
you’ll be the least of
least of
least of
least of least.

Do you?
And, if so, do you find this
conducive to getting a good nights sleep?

I know that in the past,
when I have asked this question,
you’re response has always been “absolutely,”
but I ask it once again and hope
that you’ll find it in your heart
to, this time, answer truthfully.

And yes, I have confirmed that this old crone
is in fact your mother. I would have to think
that a woman of your means, who has her mother’s best interests at heart,
can find more suitable elder care arrangements
than having her live in a feral state under my bed.

In the meantime, a signed check
in the amount of $475 is enclosed
for rent for the month of February
for #1R, 442 Central Park West.

of my tame flute

of my tame flute
all the notes
have eroded
all the fish
who’ve come to my aid –
all now a single unicellular organism

of my tame flute
this is a real example
of the bones inside the bones
of the marrow inside the marrow
of the tongue inside the tongue
of the mouthwash inside the mouthwash
of a very strong elf twisting the mouthwash cap
inside a very strong elf twisting the mouthwash cap

of my tame flute
this is the dust in the window
this is the window to the dust
not the dust in the wind, but
the wind in the dust
dust
this is the flim-flam filler on the shim-sham shindig
this is the shindig to the flim-flam filler
filling the shindig with shim-sham

of my tame flute
which is no longer
milk
which is no longer
free for personal use
which is no longer
chronicling the joy
which is no longer
ripping
ripples
crackling
cane
muddying the rooster
on a weather vane

of my tame flute
the story goes like bones
rotting away
artwork reflected
in a gun
released into tomorrow
arriving at today

indeed
indeed
indeed

She wore a country cloak just like her mother

She wore a country cloak, just like her mother,
curling her hair on rose stems and using the blood
of fresh salmon from the river for blush, the same way
her mother did.

She’d, if asked, graciously burrow inside a clique of club-hopping teens
or engage in tedious in-fighting over a small shabby country shop,
in the same gracious manner as her mother.

She wore her Catherine Zoraida Double Leaf earrings as she repeatedly
burglarized Paris Hilton across various European countries,
just like her mother had done to Paris Hilton’s mother.

When asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”,
she’d answer, “I want to lead a country, for all I know,”
pausing to add, “Preferably one in the 17th century” – which was
exactly how her mother answered the question.

She laughed with a spoonful of tenderness
mixed with a dash of regret over the fact that
she lacked a modern standing army –
as was the case with her mother.

She’d easily become entranced by the ebb and flow of
the kaleidoscope that makes up an envelope filled with
buffalo skin, strayed hammers like Princess Diana bathed in starlight
opening a box of nails, and carried the smoke all polished and shiny
as her mother did before her.

Her mama was so fat she had to iron her clothes in the driveway,
just like her mother’s mama was.

She traced the ivy growing up and down her mother’s arms
and also publicly maintained her claim to the Throne of Wool,
as was her mother’s wont.

Her love of prancing around in a black pit was
equalled only by her mother’s.

She had messy long hair riding her dragon
and holding her long and sharp spear,
but had neat, short hair driving her Corvette
and slurping a Wild Cherry Slurpee
the same way her mother’s hair would
automatically change length depending on
which physical activity she was currently engaged in.

At the age of 35, she had watched
more Unfiltered StyleWatch Babies than she had
exhorted late arrivals to The Inn – the same age
at which her mother had achieved this feat.

She cherished the red hot cinder clogs
nobody ever bought, just like her mother.

She’s thinks she’s the big girls section
of the toddler car, just like her mother,

She had a favorite all-season piece of paper
tied to her shirt that read, “Please help me
complete the school ceramics kiln enough to hang a coat,”
just like her mother.

She was a Spaniard who had recently left her
little white beard amongst huge dark things with
fake names, just like her mother.

Just like her mother, she suffered from
a warped blood-stuffed tick and whenever she
looked directly into the the sun she felt
fingers brush lightly over a cabaret singer.

Just like her mother, each winter, she picked up
the warm brown snow, realizing that it was actually
an eagle.

And just like her mother, because she was different
they would say the wildest things about her –
only just under half of which were true.