The Miracle of the Tractor

1And it came that The Master and his followers were walking through farm country.

2They came upon a cornfield and saw a farmer attempting to repair a tractor.

3“Farmer, what is wrong with your tractor?” asked The Master.

4“It just conked out all of a sudden,” said the farmer. “I’ve been running it pretty hard all morning.”

5The Master touched the engine of the tractor.

6He turned to the farmer and said, “Farmer, get up in your seat and start your tractor.”

7The farmer did as the Master had said and the tractor immediately started.

8Then The Master said to his Followers, “I have come to help to bring the harvest home, for the corn must not lie fallow in fields when my children are starving.”

9“Actually, this is all going to ethanol production,” said the farmer.

10The Master turned and stared at the tractor until it started billowing thick black smoke and came to stop with a thunderous groan, never to be driven again.

11“But Master, will not the corn now lie fallow?” asked Pieter.

12“The corn has already gone to those who need it,” said the Master.

13And his Followers looked at the cornstalks and saw that miraculously all of the ears of corn had been picked bare.

14“What the fuck?” said the farmer. “Who the hell are you? What did you do to my Deere?”

15But the Master and his followers had already moved on.