There’s a Norwegian in the Woodpile

There’s a Norwegian in the woodpile.
COD appears to be GSW to upper torso.
Likely a shotgun blast at close range.
Wallet found on victim indicates
deceased’s name is Olaf Christiansen;
age 42; residence, Olso, Norway.
Business cards found in wallet suggest
Mr. Christiansen is probably employed
in the computer software industry.

My name is Detective Frank Green.
I’ll be straight with you –
I don’t like Norwegians.
Hate them in fact.
Ever since my boyhood best buddy Bjorn Bjornstad
stole my girl Shirley Templeton
right out from under me in 7th grade.
They’re married now.
Been married for 32 years.
When I think of her
up in their house of Hill Street
slaving over the torsketunger for him
it makes me want to vomit.

But I took an oath to uphold the law.
I will search for the killer of this
deceased 42-year old Norwegian male
just as if it was my own father there
in the woodpile with a shotgun blast to the chest.
It’s my sworn duty.


from “The Continuing Adventures of Detective Frank Green”