FAQs for Crano-Shock

What is Crano-ShockTM?

Crano-ShockTM is the only over the counter medication which claims to function like a shock absorber for the brain.

How does Crano-ShockTM work?

Crano-ShockTM‘s patent pending formula builds a springy wall of fresh neural tissue between the frontal cortex and the inner cranial wall that acts as a soft, force-absorbing cushion during high-impact hits.

Hold on, I’m not a brain-surgeon. Words like “neural tissue,” “cortex” and “cranial” scare and confuse me. Can you please explain in a way I can understand?

Sure.

Imagine what happens to an egg dropped from height of 3 feet onto a concrete floor. If you imagined “Splat!,” you’re right.

Now take that same egg, but, just before releasing it, slide in a 2 1/2-foot high pillow underneath it? What happens now? No splat, just safe.

But my brain is already in my head and the likelihood that it would be taken out and dropped dropped from a 3 foot height is remote. Can you give a better example?

No problem.

Imagine an egg in a 1/2 gallon cooking pot filled with water. The egg is sloshing around. Accelerate that cooking pot into a brick wall so that the crash impact is approximately 40 mph. What’s left after impact? If you said a “yucky broken egg stuff floating in water”, you’re right.

Now imagine an egg in that same water-filled pot BUT with a soft pillow INSIDE the pot surrounding the egg. What’s left after impact? If you said “a nice egg,” “an egg fit for the King of England himself” or any phrase that suggests the egg remains unbroken and intact – then you’re right!

Is Crano-ShockTM dangerous?

Just the opposite. Head injuries are dangerous. Football is dangerous. Crano-ShockTM is about taking the danger out of impact trauma to the brain so you the user can engage in more and more violent impact trauma to the brain.

Wait…um…going back a couple questions up…What happens to the rest of my brain? Like, does my brain shrink?

That depends on your definition of the word “shrink”. Without going into complicated jargon about brain physiology and physics involving the conservation and displacement of matter, etc., etc., etc. we’re confident that when you start using Crano-ShockTM, your brain will have the same number of neurons and other “brain stuff” as it did right before using. So in that sense, is it “shrinking” your brain? Not at all.

Then what’s it doing?

What Crano-ShockTM does is help you make better use of available inner cranial space by displacing the wasted space between bits of “brain stuff” and condensing the “brain stuff” into an optimized space roughly the size of a walnut. The result? Crano-ShockTM not only gives you a safer brain, but gives you a better brain by making your brain even more efficient on a square-centimeter basis.

Can I receive a full refund if not satisfied?

Yes. If after using Crano-ShockTM you can understand the terms of refund, you are entitled to a full refund of the unused portion of your order.