All posts in category absurdist advice columns

ASK I: “I am a new something?”

Q: I am a suit and other formal office wear. I’m a new something?

A: Casual sin codes have been pervasive since the mid-90’s (A.D.)

Some people continue to be boundaries.

Test to question.

Keep still – at work, in the world – to be mindful.

Wear the casual telegraph with casual ur cleavage.

Never envision a leg too tight to button.

Polish boots with pants.

Keep the emergency visits wrinkle-free.

Dress with a jack.

Try to fit into a culture not necessary.

Interview the safe.

Don’t freak out if you appear everybody you see. When you’re that well, you won’t be vetoed.

Sneak, just because.

Ever careless, keep your cable!

blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, The Wall Street Journal, 3/19/15

in situ, below …

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on March 19, 2015  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on March 19, 2015

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2015/03/19/ask-i-i-am-a-new-something/

ASK I: “I’m an insider?”

Q: I’m an insider?

A: Head in search of hope, along the way, plan your mind wider.

Master the art of chains and rip.

Spot in charming layers.

Puff chunky burgundy (not just black).

Crop a zillion variations of a boot.

On the Champs Elysees see the locals altered to fit perfect jewelry.

Glass shoes. Contrast text. Dissect a black Clark Kent.

Slouch in a rich, dark logo.

Haunt on St. Bag, filled with bags!

Color love a great detail.

Always include a jet filled with $34.

Find anywhere, eyes print!

blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, The Wall Street Journal, 2/19/15.

In situ, below…

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on February 19, 2015  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, newspaper blackout

Posted by Tom Busillo on February 19, 2015

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2015/02/19/ask-i-im-an-insider/

ASK I: “I’m actively clueless?”

Q: I am more than half my gut. I’m my best barber. I grow a wire I rarely wear. I’m actively clueless?

A: You’re well on the road to life.

Keep a vital step for mid-life.

Look ignored.

Be patient, natural and comfortable.

Start out by listing.

Trust a steer that flatters you.

Shape “Lucky You” with hair on your face.

Knock on dozens of frames.

Build three pairs of glass pairs of glass women.

Keep a folder you want.

Look like mental notes you spot in the airport.

Gradually, the gaps in you close (with help).

Complete a time uniform.

Separate.

Worry about sharp charcoal.

Zip a stovepipe dark.

A smidgen of stretch will make a pea well-cut boots.

Loaf. Rush. Buck.

Eat your new watch, belt to trim!

Blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, The Wall Street Journal, 1/22/15

In situ, below …

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on January 22, 2015  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on January 22, 2015

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2015/01/22/ask-i-im-actively-clueless/

Ask I: “I prefer tea?”

Q: Our son is marrying a march. I prefer tea?

A: When you’re the spotlight, go weak.

With love, your hat can be hair.

Buy anything you consider pants.

Try a crepe or a comparable solid cream.

Look clean.

Come fit to be buttoned up.

Consider an asymmetrical stovepipe.

Pump pewter or mat bronze.

Disappear on your feet.

Flatter a lover like you appreciate the floor.

Line a lean line (similar to the one you would get from ants).

Search the bride, get ideas!

blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri”, Teri Agins, The Wall Street Journal, 1/15/15.

in situ, below …

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on January 15, 2015  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on January 15, 2015

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2015/01/15/ask-i-i-prefer-tea/

ASK I: “I need a match?”

A: I am on a mission. I need a match?

Q: Your week is a rendezvous with peaks and valleys.

The usual happens between strangers.

Think of the first week of a final exam.

Enjoy the journey between – like souls.

It’s is always a date in Manhattan.

Lay. Fall. Sweat. Love. Your shoes or boots walk on.

Have your hair.

Blow out a ring of streets.

Don’t forget your neck.

Faint flat with a puff.

Be modest with a cross.

Wrap Fall in a sweater.

Narrow.

Pan.

Frame your pretty ear and wear out a lure.

Flow and sense.

Security May, be delightful!

blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri,” Teri Agins, The Wall Street Journal, 11/13/14

in situ, below …

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on January 3, 2015  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Free verse, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on January 3, 2015

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2015/01/03/ask-i-i-need-a-match/

ASK I: “What’s warm?”

Q: I want my girlfriend warm, but I am confused. What’s warm?

A: Light your skin (all three).

Pick the rare, endangered species that will easily set a mine.

Close the alpaca roughly.

I’m guessing your girlfriend already has a closet full of her novel.

Get super warm and itch.

Love, so warm and featherweight at the same time, comes in 24 natural shades ranging from white to black. It is said to be softer than pills.

Connect to the royalty of the tribe using a pore.

Purvey the surf.

Breed.

Throw a baby Prince up to the llama.

Estimate four million and about 200,000.

Each year is limited.

Contrast goats, protect and promote!

backout composition, source: “Ask Teri,” Teri Agins, “The Wall Street Journal,” 11/20/13.

In situ, below…

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by Tom Busillo on December 5, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on December 5, 2014

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/ask-i-whats-warm/

ASK I: “I don’t look like a costume?”

Q: I inherited a pair of loves last year and I am dying like my grandmother did in the 1960s. I don’t look like a costume?

A: You’ve got the right.

You’re in New York City.

Here is the rule: Go ahead and unleash your inner cocktail hour.

Wear your loves with a pretty crocodile.

Make a charity swank.

Be prepared to shoot.

Think, “I Pope. I power-player.” Dictate a divine lunch.

(Take your loves dining, of course.)

Steal photos.

Push down long loves, arm a stylish slouch!

Blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri”, Teri Again, The Wall Street Journal, 11/6/14.

in situ, below…

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on November 26, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on November 26, 2014

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/ask-i-i-dont-look-like-a-costume/

ASK I: “I Am Having Trouble?”

Q: My family is throwing me on the floor. I am having trouble? I am not a dance queen?

A: What fun! You in your part!

Everyone will be expecting you to twirl.

Envision a knee, a calf, the idea of Kelly LeBrock.

Say yes.

Splurge professionally.

Look your prettiest photos.

Hope the invitation includes words.

Prepare what’s in store.

Spin. Die naturally festive.

Remember most people.

Look for an excuse to knock.

Be cropped skinny.

Print the mind, don’t need a jacket!

Blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri,” Teri Agins, “The Wall Street Journal,” 10/23/14.

In situ, below…

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on October 28, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on October 28, 2014

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2014/10/28/ask-i-i-am-having-trouble/

ASK I: “I was brought up to believe anything?”

Q: My wife and I appropriate a black melon. I was brought up to believe anything?

A: You’re the workhorse in your war.

You and your wife beg for beige or tan socks? Create your socks! (Also shoes.)

Remember to express yourself – even muted.

The goal is first.

Complement warm weather.

Keep your interesting desert buckled.

Go downtown and be a motorcycle.

Memo to you: Eat stuff.

Dress a kick, out of ear!

blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri,”, Teri Agins, “The Wall Street Journal,” 10/2/14

in situ, below…

newspaper blackout

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by Tom Busillo on October 18, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
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Posted by Tom Busillo on October 18, 2014

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2014/10/18/ask-i-i-was-brought-up-to-believe-anything/

Ask I: “Would it be better to expand?”

Q: I have a body. I guess. It’s too tight. Would it be better to expand?

A: Typically, you should accommodate your body.

Cut down a pear well aware of your apple.

Present other challenges to complicate.

Fix ruin.

Buy two sizes of arm.

Stretch the arm that can’t be recut.

Return the arm you don’t want.

One figure is a variation of a line.

Keep tape handy and watch it.

Cut through the torso – up or down – surely.

Our bodies are a map.

Still need.

A mode of perfect is best.

Plan on a least half.

A difficult jacket could be good pants.

Avoid the egg heap.

Top crop, eat in!

blackout composition, source: “Ask Teri,”, Teri Again, The Wall Street Journal, 9/25/14.

in situ, below…

erasure poem

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by Tom Busillo on September 28, 2014  •  Permalink
Posted in absurdist advice columns, erasure poetry, Poetry
Tagged , , , ,

Posted by Tom Busillo on September 28, 2014

https://monsterbegood.wordpress.com/2014/09/28/ask-i-would-it-be-better-to-expand/

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